I was feeling blue earlier today regarding how much work I had to do, and then wound up taking on the task of helping to find funding and design a project for something that is both ambitious and really, really neat– and while I have not yet had success, I am optimistic about getting it done. This optimism has buoyed my mood.
I should really be more concerned with the logistics of the project- it is a BIG project- but I see my role with this as more of an advisor and not as the person actually doing the work. I plan to farm that out to someone that a grant pays for, and finding the grant money- now that’s the difficulty, and I’m racking my brains right now trying to think of how to do this quickly.
In the meantime, I have my cancer research project to do– that one is a little frightening because it’s me risking everything with it, not someone else- and a variety of other projects that are progressing at a reasonable pace.
Today I also spent about an hour or so in the sunshine and fresh air, and I’ve had several kind expressions of concern from friends, some of whom are quite distant indeed. These things also help buoy my mood, and so while I am still worried about a few things (I think this is fairly normal, considering the extent of risk my self-funded research entails), I am managing it now fairly well.
Tonight, after dinner, I was able to relax with Downton Abbey and am now watching a BBC series about a detective who runs a restaurant called “Pie in the Sky”. I have things to read but I want to see if I can keep my good mood going by giving myself more time to relax. Call it an experiment.